ArcaNuova · Closeness · Perception · Freedom
Perception Instead of Admiration
Not everyone who sees the same house perceives the same world. Closeness sometimes begins when two people notice the same beauty at the same moment.
Sometimes people come to a house and see only the house.
They see the pool, the cars, the technology, the solar system or the Porsche. Some admire it, some envy it, some secretly despise it or pity the owner because they believe that possessions must always conceal emptiness or vanity.
In earlier years this might have occupied me more. My life also included phases of showing, succeeding and impressing. My years as a dentist belonged to that world. One played roles and functioned in a world of performance, status and outward effect. At some point, however, one realizes that this game brings no real peace. The phase of showing off passes like other phases of life.
Today I find almost the opposite pleasant: people who do not look at possessions, but at the feeling.
Yesterday evening we were sitting by the pool. One of my workers brought a friend who runs a small inn in the village. To be honest, I was already expecting one of the usual reactions: admiration, comparison or concealed envy. Instead something entirely different happened.
In the middle of the conversation he suddenly said:
“Look over there at the sky.”
That was the decisive moment.
He did not see the Porsche.
Not the house.
Not the possessions.
He saw the cloud formations, the light, the rays in the sky and the atmosphere of the evening. He felt the same moment I did.
That was rare.
Real encounters often arise not from great words, but from shared perception. Two people look in the same direction and see the same beauty. Without competition. Without roles. Without social judgment.
Perhaps that is why I thought about it later that night.
I have discovered that I manage very well on my own. In earlier years this realization might have frightened me. Today I experience it more as freedom. I no longer need other people in order to feel complete. Precisely for that reason, the few genuine encounters become more valuable.
Admiration does not connect people.
Shared perception does.
Perhaps that is the quietest and most honest form of closeness.
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