ArcaNuova · Relationship · Freedom · Closeness

Superfluous and Indispensable

Anyone who can stand alone removes from a relationship the comforting illusion of necessity. That may be precisely where a deeper kind of staying begins.

There is a strange consequence of thinking too deeply.

You become superfluous and indispensable at the same time.

Superfluous because the other person senses that you do not need them in order to exist.

That you can stand alone.

That you do not cling from fear, but stay by choice.

This takes away a relationship’s comforting illusion of necessity.

And yet you become indispensable.

Not through dependence.

But through depth.

Because the other person senses that you are not using them to fill an emptiness.

You see them.

Truly see them.

It is a lonely position.

You can leave at any time.

And precisely for that reason, you stay.

Not from weakness.

But from freedom.

And that freedom is the most valuable thing you can give.

And the most unsettling thing you can be.

Related thoughts

Who is thinking behind it?

ArcaNuova is not a finished product, but an ark for thoughts that can be taken along, grasped, understood and reused. What stands here should not merely be read. It should trigger something: an impulse, a tool, a beginning.

Behind ArcaNuova are experience, observation and the attempt to think about things clearly and practically. No psychological fog. No empty chatter. Something you can actually get hold of.

Thoughts

Who writes behind it?

His path led from dental technician to dentist and from dentist to philosopher. He carried forward fewer titles than tools: precise observation, careful case history, diagnosis and the willingness to discard an initial assumption when reality does not fit it.

The thoughts do not come from a textbook, but from experience: in a dental practice, a solar installation, a router, an olive harvest or occasionally in the gaze of a dog.

More about the author

Thoughts

Festival of lights. Humanly conceived, technically illuminated.

How does he write?

As a dentist, I was used to well-trained office staff revising my medical texts. They corrected spelling, smoothed formulations and made complicated sentences readable. Nobody would therefore have credited them with the medical ideas.

Retirement ended not only the practice but also the office. Apparently only a president can take the entire staff into retirement. For linguistic revision I therefore switched to artificial intelligence.

The division of labour remained essentially the same: I provide thoughts, experiences and attitude; AI helps with sentence structure, spelling and polish. The new office assistant simply needs no desk, no holidays and shows a remarkable enthusiasm for syntax.

The birth round of my seal

Thoughts

Why does he write?

The author has a pronounced curiosity and a tendency to follow thoughts long after others have changed the subject. Not everyone wants to discuss society, technology, philosophy or life’s absurdities over coffee. That is probably sensible.

In writing, every thought finds the space it needs, and every reader can decide how far to follow it.

Thoughts