ArcaNuova · Community · Hungary · Calabria
Simply at the Table
Integration rarely begins with explanations. It begins by taking part, sitting down at a table and staying long enough.
I never explained very much.
Not how to live.
Not how to arrive.
And certainly not how to integrate.
I simply did it.
Years ago in Hungary, Susanna and I married in the village church.
With a carriage, with the local people, in the way customary there.
Not organised.
Not planned.
Simply done.
Hungary was our first residence abroad. There we learned that you do not arrive by constantly explaining who you are. You arrive by taking part.
We carried that experience with us.
To southern Italy.
Today in Calabria it is similar.
Only now it is no longer just about Susanna and me.
My son married here. A baptism also took place here. In his heart he is already here.
Some people look around at the house, land, machines and cars.
I soon notice that this is not what interests them.
It is not the possessions.
It is the way of life.
That I no longer have to.
That I decide how my day unfolds.
That I no longer explain my life, but live it.
I give no advice.
No one wants to be told how to live.
But many watch closely.
So I simply live it in front of them.
Everyone takes what they need.
Once a year we hold an Oktoberfest.
Not because it is tradition.
But because it works.
No competition. No judgement. Just food, wine and people.
We have no grand plan.
We have a table.
And whoever is there sits at it.
Living together does not arise because one says everything correctly.
It arises because one is honest and enjoys sitting at the table with others.
When someone asks why I invite them, I say:
“You have your large families. I have you.”
Perhaps that is the point.
Do not talk about community.
Simply create it.
Do not try to arrive.
Stay.
And one day realise:
You already belong.
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