ArcaNuova · Conversation · Respect · Friendship
We Can Talk to Anyone
How confrontation can become trust when we see the human being rather than the ideological lens.
Some encounters show immediately how little differences of opinion say about a person’s worth. A relationship is often sustained not by agreement, but by the ability to see one another without prejudice. The key is to recognise the person, not the spectacles through which he happens to look.
A formative example was my first encounter with an Italian engineer and architect. He did not know me when he accused me of causing water damage in the floor below my flat. It was the worst possible beginning: accusations, stress and damaged building fabric. We could easily have placed each other into boxes: an ideological lens, an emotional lens, a lens of mistrust.
But that did not happen. We looked at each other and immediately sensed that behind the problem stood two people who wanted nothing from one another except clarity and respect. We spoke calmly, factually and openly. No defence, no insinuation, no lens between us.
A confrontation became a conversation.
A conversation became trust.
And trust became friendship.
Today we are closely connected. We spend evenings together, celebrate Christmas together and share moments that go far beyond the occasion of our first meeting. All this arose because we did not adopt the attitude the situation tried to impose on us, but saw the person behind the first impression.
This experience reminds me that differences of opinion are not an obstacle, only spectacles that can be removed. When one is willing to see the person, hardly any conversation remains impossible. And where conversation is possible, connections often arise that nobody expected.
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