ArcaNuova · Staying · Travel · Clarity

The Desire to Stay

Why one sometimes has to leave a beloved home for a while in order to return to it fully.

I live in paradise. I say that without exaggeration. A house on a hill, 300,000 square metres of land, sun, olives, music and two Dobermanns who offer more loyalty than many people. I have no urge to escape and no longing for a new world. I have everything I need, when I am at peace with myself.

And yet there is another impulse: to leave once. Not to flee or break out. Just to gain distance and see clearly again who I am in this paradise.

South America is one possibility. Not as a new life, but as an interval from which to look at my own life from outside. It is not wanderlust, but an inward view that sometimes needs a different landscape. Not for long. Only until the mind becomes clear again.

It is a paradoxical feeling: I want to stay, but in order to stay properly, I have to leave once.

I could travel at any time. Susanna is dependable enough to care for the dogs. She does not see them with the same depth as I do, but she respects them as part of our life. That is enough. Dogs do not hold grudges. They know the present and the return.

What South America is meant to give me is not adventure, but reflection. A few weeks without expectations, clan, children or roles. Just me and distance.

The centre of my life remains here. I do not really want to leave. I want a relationship in which I remain the centre of my own life, just as I am when I live alone. A woman who arrives instead of scattering herself. A woman who truly commits to me, not to a system of family, obligations or drama.

When the dogs are no longer here one day, and that day will come, I will face two paths: another dog or another woman. Something that supports me rather than pulls at me. Something that complements me rather than consumes me.

South America is only the intermediate step. A mirror. A pause. Clarity.

My life is here. I would leave only so that I can return to it completely.

Further related thoughts

Who is thinking behind it?

ArcaNuova is not a finished product, but an ark for thoughts that can be taken along, grasped, understood and reused. What stands here should not merely be read. It should trigger something: an impulse, a tool, a beginning.

Behind ArcaNuova are experience, observation and the attempt to think about things clearly and practically. No psychological fog. No empty chatter. Something you can actually get hold of.

Thoughts

Who writes behind it?

His path led from dental technician to dentist and from dentist to philosopher. He carried forward fewer titles than tools: precise observation, careful case history, diagnosis and the willingness to discard an initial assumption when reality does not fit it.

The thoughts do not come from a textbook, but from experience: in a dental practice, a solar installation, a router, an olive harvest or occasionally in the gaze of a dog.

More about the author

Thoughts

Festival of lights. Humanly conceived, technically illuminated.

How does he write?

As a dentist, I was used to well-trained office staff revising my medical texts. They corrected spelling, smoothed formulations and made complicated sentences readable. Nobody would therefore have credited them with the medical ideas.

Retirement ended not only the practice but also the office. Apparently only a president can take the entire staff into retirement. For linguistic revision I therefore switched to artificial intelligence.

The division of labour remained essentially the same: I provide thoughts, experiences and attitude; AI helps with sentence structure, spelling and polish. The new office assistant simply needs no desk, no holidays and shows a remarkable enthusiasm for syntax.

The birth round of my seal

Thoughts

Why does he write?

The author has a pronounced curiosity and a tendency to follow thoughts long after others have changed the subject. Not everyone wants to discuss society, technology, philosophy or life’s absurdities over coffee. That is probably sensible.

In writing, every thought finds the space it needs, and every reader can decide how far to follow it.

Thoughts